Quitting is for quitters

So I had a long talk with my boss last Monday, 1st April.

I told him the current job was causing anxiety attacks for me. The thought of not having any support and all of my jobs that are wholly responsible to me are the biggest contributor to my stress levels. I mean, jobs that are too small for me to handle but requires too much time and effort is really ineffective.

Also adding to the fact that I walk into the office with fear of having to contact the clients is overwhelming. Procastinating all of my jobs isn't what I should do.

All of the sudden, things that I'd do in like 30 minutes becomes a 2-3 day ordeal. Fear that what I do creates more problems rather than closing the problem is always present at the back of my head.

I'm also worried that this fear would stem into any future jobs that I'll be undertaking.

I think the last time I had something like this was when I was in Logicool. I was level 2, so I had to be the problem solver. Having Fukutakesan with us at that time assured me that whatever I do, I'd still have my back covered.

But not for my current predicament.

My boss lacks technical knowledge and throws the most mundane jobs to me.

My developers lack skills and always underperform.

My Japanese counterparts are helpful, but are limited to what they know in Japan (they dont know shit about global trends imho).

My clients, being clients ask for more than what I can do.

My distributors, being distributors ask for things that we already know but are too slow to implement.

Whatever it is, I tendered my resignation till the next phase launches in 3-6 months' time.

My boss mentioned that although this might sound like an excuse, the Japanese company is to blame, because you should pour all your company's efforts into the product, not just giving a free hand to your salesperson.

For that, I totally agree.

I used to hate my boss, but now I don't care much about him (workwise). I do wonder Sometimes how his family is doing, etc.

The main thing I hate about my job now is the job itself.

Procastinating is such a bad and dangerous thing.

I thought telling my boss that I wanted to leave the company would reduce my stress, but it didn't.

I think the only way to reduce my stress is to actually do work, which in turn increases stress. No, playing games, excercising, quality time with my wife does not reduce my work stress, ok?

So in closing:

GET THE FUCK TO WORK. sTOP WORRYING AND JUST FUCKINg DO IT.

Fuck facebook, fuck jewtube, fuck the fuxking internet. You want to relax? fUCK YOUR RELAX TIME. fUCKInG DO YoUR WORK.

Please dear me, just do it. Dont think.

For the sake of both of us. Three in fact.

InsyaAllah.